From owner-fsj-digest-at-digest.net Sat Apr 1 20:36:46 2000 From: fsj-digest fsj-digest Sunday, April 2 2000 Volume 01 : Number 801 Forum for Discussion of Full Sized SJ Series Jeeps Brian Colucci Digest Coordinator Contents: Re: fsj: the costs of liquids Re: fsj: Six cylinder search Re: fsj: Re:FSJ sticker update Re: fsj: Brake light switch Re: fsj: Re:FSJ sticker update fsj: a new threat for microsoft users... fsj: STILL LOOKING FOR J-4000 FOR JP RETROSPECTIVE fsj: JC WHITNEY REAR QUARTER PANELS - QUESTIONS fsj: Stuff for sale fsj: Fw: the costs of liquids fsj: [Fwd: [1FSJ] Stuff for sale] fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) Re: fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) fsj: DOES ANYONE HAVE JOE SCHAEFER'S E-MAIL? (J-4000 OWNER) Re: fsj: DOES ANYONE HAVE JOE SCHAEFER'S E-MAIL? (J-4000 OWNER) Re: fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) fsj: FWD from the Oracle Humor List (with Jeep modifications) FSJ Digest Home Page: http://www.digest.net/jeeps/fsj/ Send submissions to fsj-digest-at-digest.net Send administrative requests to fsj-digest-request-at-digest.net To unsubscribe, include the word unsubscribe by itself in the body of the message, unless you are sending the request from a different address than the one that appears on the list. Include the word help in a message to fsj-digest-request to get a list of other majordomo commands. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 12:52:42 -0800 (PST) From: Carnuck-at-webtv.net (James Blair) Subject: Re: fsj: the costs of liquids A: Only 1 minor difference! None of these liquids are an everyday necessity! John sent: REALITY CHECK: :) john Diet Snapple 16oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 $1.29 =3D $10.32 per gallon Lipton Ice Tea 16oz for =A0 =A0 $1.19 =3D $9.52 per gallon Gatorade 20oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 $1.59 =3D $10.17 per gallon Ocean Spray 16oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 $1.25 =3D $10.00 per gallon Pint of milk 16oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 $1.59 =3D $12.72 per gallon STP Brake Fluid 12oz for =A0 =A0 $3.15 =3D $33.60 per gallon Vick's Nyquil 6oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 $8.35 =3D $178.13 per gallon Pepto Bismol 4oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 $3.85 =3D $123.20 per gallon Whiteout .7oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 $1.39 =3D $25.42 per gallon Scope 1.5oz for =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 $0.99 =3D $84.48 per gallon And this is the REAL KICKER...... Evian water 9oz for $1.49 =3D =A0 $21.19 per gallon =A0=A0=A0=A0.....$21.19 FOR WATER!! So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil, or Scope, or Whiteout!!!! Ed Pedersen Vancouver Canada - --------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 16:02:28 EST From: Brazzadog-at-aol.com Subject: Re: fsj: Six cylinder search In a message dated 4/1/2000 1:04:55 AM Pacific Standard Time, Carnuck-at-webtv.net writes: > '80 and up came with AC, PS/PB/PW and other goodies (depending on trim) > I debated buying an '88 or newer and swapping in a 4.0L with EFI! (Pics > of Blackie will be posted in the AM) Cool, thanks. Ben ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 16:22:39 EST From: Brazzadog-at-aol.com Subject: Re: fsj: Re:FSJ sticker update In a message dated 4/1/2000 11:02:21 AM Pacific Standard Time, john-at-wagoneers.com writes: > bumper stickers ain't clickable... not even on a macintrash... ;) Hey, we have one of those for the kids to play with. Kim keeps saying it's idiot proof, but I can clean up the messes the kids make of it. Ben ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 16:23:56 EST From: Brazzadog-at-aol.com Subject: Re: fsj: Brake light switch In a message dated 4/1/2000 9:47:30 AM Pacific Standard Time, poolcues-at-bellsouth.net writes: > There is a switch that is connected to the Brake pedal, up top ..on the bar, > under the > dash. > I believe.. Thanks. I'll see if I can find one. Ben ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 13:34:02 -0800 From: john Subject: Re: fsj: Re:FSJ sticker update not sure why, but I can crash a mac within a few minutes... I don't think they like me very much... :) john At 04:22 PM 4/1/00 EST, Brazzadog-at-aol.com wrote: >In a message dated 4/1/2000 11:02:21 AM Pacific Standard Time, >john-at-wagoneers.com writes: > >> bumper stickers ain't clickable... not even on a macintrash... ;) > >Hey, we have one of those for the kids to play with. Kim keeps saying it's >idiot proof, but I can clean up the messes the kids make of it. > >Ben > - ----------------------------------------------------- john-at-wagoneers.com http://www.wagoneers.com ...don't leave life without Jesus, please! Snohomish, WA - where Jeeps don't rust, they mold... - ----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 14:05:52 -0800 From: john Subject: fsj: a new threat for microsoft users... This could affect a lot of us... passing the warning along. see URLs below for related info. (as far as I know this is not a hoax. I checked the link and it is in the same format and configuration as previous valid warnings.) (since it's April 1 I'm being more cautious... ;) john =============================== To: John Meister (SD072044) From: The SANS Institute Research Office Subj: Malicious 911 Virus Wipes Out Hard Drives of Internet Users At 8:00 am on Saturday, April 1 (This is not an April Fool's joke!) the FBI announced it had discovered malicious code wiping out the data on hard drives and dialing 911. This is a vicious virus and needs to be stopped quickly. That can only be done through wide-scale individual action. Please forward this note to everyone who you know who might be affected. The FBI Advisory is posted at http://www.nipc.gov/nipc/advis00-038.htm The 911 virus is the first "Windows shares virus." Unlike recent viruses that propagate though eMail, the 911 virus silently jumps directly from machine to machine across the Internet by scanning for, and exploiting, open Windows shares. After successfully reproducing itself in other Internet-connected machines (to assure its continued survival) it uses the machine's modem to dial 911 and erases the local machine's hard drive. The virus is operational; victims are already reporting wiped-out hard drives. The virus was launched through AOL, AT&T, MCI, and NetZero in the Houston area. The investigation points to relatively limited distribution so far, but there are no walls in the Internet. - ----------------- Action 1: Defense - ----------------- Verify that your system and those of all your coworkers, friends, and associates are not vulnerable by verifying that file sharing is turned off. * On a Windows 95/98 system, system-wide file sharing is managed by selecting My Computer, Control Panel, Networks, and clicking on the File and Print Sharing button. For folder-by-folder controls, you can use Windows Explorer (Start, Programs, Windows Explorer) and highlight a primary folder such as My Documents and then right mouse click and select properties. There you will find a tab for sharing. * On a Windows NT, check Control Panel, Server, Shares. For an excellent way to instantly check system vulnerability, and for detailed assistance in managing Windows file sharing, see: Shields Up! A free service from Gibson Research (http://grc.com/) - ------------------- Action 2: Forensics - ------------------- If you find that you did have file sharing turned on, search your hard drive for hidden directories named "chode", "foreskin", or "dickhair" (we apologize for the indiscretion - but those are the real directory names). These are HIDDEN directories, so you must configure the Find command to show hidden directories. Under the Windows Explorer menu choose View/Options: "Show All Files". If you find those directories: remove them. And, if you find them, and want help from law enforcement, call the FBI National Infrastructure Protection Center (NIPC) Watch Office at 202-323-3204/3205/3206. The FBI/NIPC has done an extraordinary job of getting data out early on this virus and deserves both kudos and cooperation. You can help the whole community by letting both the FBI and SANS (intrusion-at-sans.org) know if you've been hit, so we can monitor the spread of this virus. - -------------- Moving Forward - -------------- The virus detection companies received a copy of the code for the 911 Virus early this morning, so keep your virus signature files up-to-date. We'll post new information at www.sans.org as it becomes available. Prepared by: Alan Paller, Research Director, The SANS Institute Steve Gibson, President, Gibson Research Corporation Stephen Northcutt, Director, Global Incident Analysis Center ================== see also - http://www.nipc.gov/nipc/nipcaaw.htm http://www.sans.org/ddos_roadmap.htm http://www.cert.org/advisories/ ================== - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- john-at-wagoneers.com http://www.wagoneers.com/UNIX/ PC viruses??? see http://vil.mcafee.com/villib/alpha.asp UNIX rules the internet and engineering computing - ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 18:14:10 EST From: RMSquaredJeeps-at-aol.com Subject: fsj: STILL LOOKING FOR J-4000 FOR JP RETROSPECTIVE Hello everyone, Although a few J-4000 owners wrote me, thus far none of the vehicles are completely suitable for a future JP Magazine Retrospective. I'm asking for everyone's help in the hope that I can locate either a clean original or restored 1970 - 1973 J-4000. For this I'm looking for a clean vehicle that photographs well, has a minimum of modifications (such as suspension lifts, non-Jeep parts and accessories, ect). I realize that this is a tall order but thus far I've been successful with two other quests, my 1969 Super Wagoneer and a 1967 Tuxedo Park that will appear in the July issue of JP. Any help will be appreciated and if you subscribe to other Jeep-related mailing lists and newsgroups, please feel free to post this message there. I will be posting it to the Full Size Jeep mailing list myself. Speaking of full sized Jeeps, has anyone received their copy of the May 2000 issue of JP yet? I curious to the response to the M-715 article that I photographed and my better half wrote, her first full automotive feature. If anyone caught any inaccuracies, please let me know. There will be some FSJ features in future JP issues. I located a super cool 1978 Wide Track Cherokee virtually in my backyard and will be photographing it when I get back from Germany the end of April. Although not an off-road rig, it may be the ultimate FSJ tow vehicle as the owner has a trailer and supercharged 1,000 HP boat painted to match. I will post photos as soon as I have an opportunity at my FSJ web site at http://jeepwagoneer.homep age.com/Gallery.html. Hope you all are having a great April Fool's Day although this is certainly not an April Fool's message. Best, Richard Truesdell Contributing Editor, JP Magazine 1964 Jeep Wagoneer 1969 Jeep Super Wagoneer ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 18:29:32 EST From: RMSquaredJeeps-at-aol.com Subject: fsj: JC WHITNEY REAR QUARTER PANELS - QUESTIONS I need some help from members of the lists. For those of you that have seen photos of my 1969 Jeep Super Wagoneer, either in JP Magazine or on my web site know that the previous owner radiused the rear wheel wells, for whatever the reason. Since I plan on bringing my vehicle to Camp Jeep this summer, I'm trying to return it to as close to original condition as possible. My question is how is the best way to approach this? The lower rear quarters need some minor rust repair on each side and I need to get the missing three inches of missing bodywork above the rear tires reinstalled. In looking at the JC Whitney panels, I noted they offer only complete lower rear quarter panels for the two door Cherokee. Not knowing much about body work, actually nothing at all, I'm wondering if it makes sense to purchase the 2-door panels and having the body shop trim them to fit, then rivet or weld into place before I have my truck repainted. Does anyone have any suggestions? Does anyone have personal experience with these panels and can comment on their quality? Any help as always is appreciated. Richard Truesdell Contributing Editor, JP 1964 Jeep Wagoneer 1969 Jeep Super Wagoneer ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 18:12:42 -0600 From: "TLynn" Subject: fsj: Stuff for sale Here is a URL where I have posted of few things to sell...I need to start moving this stuff so I can stay married. I am still working on the requests if you have sent one but I just decided to start posting stuff to the lists so that I can at least sell something soon...just offer a price on anything off list if you see it at this site and if you don't know what it is just ask me. I will take stuff off as it is sold and put up new stuff when I get the time. http://www.sheltonbbs.com/~tlynn/page1/jpics.htm Tim Lynn "ToolMan-JeepBum" "It's a Jeep Thing" ICQ 21916084 75' J-10(in restoration-unnamed) 96' XJ(Skinny) 67' CJ-5(Crusty) 74' Wag(parts) 77' J-10(Bull-Dawg) 401/TH400, QT, 4" lift, MSD6T & billet dist., 32x11.5 AT's, tlynn-at-sheltonbbs.com

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------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 21:53:55 -0500 From: "Ray Drouillard" Subject: fsj: Fw: the costs of liquids - ----- Original Message ----- From: Ray Drouillard To: john Sent: Saturday, April 01, 2000 3:25 PM Subject: Re: the costs of liquids > So.... Where is the FSJ content??? > > Don't worry... I'll fix it. (see the bottom) > > > > REALITY CHECK: > > :) > > john > > > > > > Diet Snapple 16oz for $1.29 = $10.32 per gallon > > Lipton Ice Tea 16oz for $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon > > Gatorade 20oz for $1.59 = $10.17 per gallon > > Ocean Spray 16oz for $1.25 = $10.00 per gallon > > Pint of milk 16oz for $1.59 = $12.72 per gallon > > STP Brake Fluid 12oz for $3.15 = $33.60 per gallon > > Vick's Nyquil 6oz for $8.35 = $178.13 per gallon > > Pepto Bismol 4oz for $3.85 = $123.20 per gallon > > Whiteout .7oz for $1.39 = $25.42 per gallon > > Scope 1.5oz for $0.99 = $84.48 per gallon > > > > And this is the REAL KICKER...... > > Evian water 9oz for $1.49 = $21.19 per gallon > > .....$21.19 FOR WATER!! > > > > So next time you're at the pump, be glad your FSJ doesn't > > run on Nyquil, or Scope, or Whiteout!!!! ^ > I > =================================I > > ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 21:22:08 -0600 From: "R.J. Baynum" Subject: fsj: [Fwd: [1FSJ] Stuff for sale] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - --------------4C6EC50B8B4575DF7D77BC3D Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit - --------------4C6EC50B8B4575DF7D77BC3D Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline Received: from mail10.bellsouth.net (mail10.bellsouth.net [205.152.0.52]) by mail5.lig.bellsouth.net (3.3.5alt/0.75.2) with ESMTP id TAA02825 for ; Sat, 1 Apr 2000 19:19:18 -0500 (EST) Received: from jj.egroups.com (jj.egroups.com [208.50.144.82]) by mail10.bellsouth.net (3.3.5alt/0.75.2) with SMTP id TAA16790 for ; Sat, 1 Apr 2000 19:18:58 -0500 (EST) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-423226-2320-poolcues=bellsouth.net-at-returns.onelist.com Received: from [10.1.10.35] by jj.egroups.com with NNFMP; 02 Apr 2000 00:19:57 -0000 Received: (qmail 3514 invoked from network); 2 Apr 2000 00:19:56 -0000 Received: from unknown (10.1.10.26) by m1.onelist.org with QMQP; 2 Apr 2000 00:19:56 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mail.sheltonbbs.com) (206.196.109.2) by mta1 with SMTP; 2 Apr 2000 00:19:56 -0000 Received: (qmail 21189 invoked from network); 2 Apr 2000 00:22:56 -0000 Received: from stl-asc1-ppp50.sheltonbbs.com (HELO default) (209.135.144.50) by mail.sheltonbbs.com with SMTP; 2 Apr 2000 00:22:56 -0000 Message-ID: <000b01bf9c38$2b4e0be0$329087d1-at-default> To: "1FSJ" <1FSJ-at-onelist.com> X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2919.6600 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2919.6600 MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list 1FSJ-at-onelist.com; contact 1FSJ-owner-at-onelist.com Delivered-To: mailing list 1FSJ-at-onelist.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 18:12:42 -0600 X-eGroups-From: "TLynn" From: "TLynn" Reply-To: 1FSJ-at-onelist.com Subject: [1FSJ] Stuff for sale Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mozilla-Status2: 00000000 Here is a URL where I have posted of few things to sell...I need to start moving this stuff so I can stay married. I am still working on the requests if you have sent one but I just decided to start posting stuff to the lists so that I can at least sell something soon...just offer a price on anything off list if you see it at this site and if you don't know what it is just ask me. I will take stuff off as it is sold and put up new stuff when I get the time. http://www.sheltonbbs.com/~tlynn/page1/jpics.htm Tim Lynn "ToolMan-JeepBum" "It's a Jeep Thing" ICQ 21916084 75' J-10(in restoration-unnamed) 96' XJ(Skinny) 67' CJ-5(Crusty) 74' Wag(parts) 77' J-10(Bull-Dawg) 401/TH400, QT, 4" lift, MSD6T & billet dist., 32x11.5 AT's, tlynn-at-sheltonbbs.com

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- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! 1. Fill in the brief application 2. Receive approval decision within 30 seconds 3. Get rates as low as 2.9% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR Apply NOW! http://click.egroups.com/1/2646/4/_/696737/_/954634797/ - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Subscribe: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/1FSJ UnSubscribe: http://www.onelist.com/unsubscribe/1FSJ Our homepage: http://www.onelist.com/community/1FSJ - --------------4C6EC50B8B4575DF7D77BC3D-- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 20:08:03 -0800 From: john Subject: fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) All systems go. SUN has been ordered for your festing pleasure. :) Doug (XJ) is coming up from Alabama (or someplace down there). He's in Portland tonight. See ya around 2pm. Don't forget the time change tonight... what is it spring ahead? I wish they'd stop doing this... I have enough trouble keeping track of what day it is. :) Project inactive status: Superdawg won't get a new manifold tomorrow... missing some critical pieces... :( Olympic is closed until Tuesday. Won't be able to swap the axle on the little wagoneer... no bearing press. PROJECTs possible: Windshield swap from Superdawg to 67 J300, then install new windshield into Superdawg. 67 J3000 CLUTCH ADJUSTMENT. john - ----------------------------------------------------- john-at-wagoneers.com http://www.wagoneers.com ...don't leave life without Jesus, please! Snohomish, WA - where Jeeps don't rust, they mold... - ----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 20:11:40 -0800 (PST) From: Carnuck-at-webtv.net (James Blair) Subject: Re: fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) A: I'll be driving Blackie. What parts are you missing? I'm sending a pic to 1fsj and photopoint next. John wrote: All systems go. SUN has been ordered for your festing pleasure. :) Doug (XJ) is coming up from Alabama (or someplace down there). He's in Portland tonight. See ya around 2pm. Don't forget the time change tonight... what is it spring ahead? I wish they'd stop doing this... I have enough trouble keeping track of what day it is. :) Project inactive status: Superdawg won't get a new manifold tomorrow... missing some critical pieces... :( Olympic is closed until Tuesday. Won't be able to swap the axle on the little wagoneer... no bearing press. PROJECTs possible: Windshield swap from Superdawg to 67 J300, then install new windshield into Superdawg. 67 J3000 CLUTCH ADJUSTMENT. john ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 23:12:20 EST From: RMSquaredJeeps-at-aol.com Subject: fsj: DOES ANYONE HAVE JOE SCHAEFER'S E-MAIL? (J-4000 OWNER) As posted earlier, I'm looking for a J-4000 to profile for JP Magazine. In looking over the rigs on the IFSJA page at Off Road.com, I saw that Joe Schaefer has a great looking J-4000. In writing to him at joes-at-olympus.net, my e-mail to him bounced back as undeliverable. Does anyone on the lists know Joe and have his current e-mail address so I can contact him directly? Thanks, Richard Truesdell Contributing Editor, JP Magazine 1964 Jeep Wagoneer 1969 Jeep Super Wagoneer ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 20:27:09 -0800 From: john Subject: Re: fsj: DOES ANYONE HAVE JOE SCHAEFER'S E-MAIL? (J-4000 OWNER) Rich, Joe Schaefer Joe is up here in my neck of the woods... Maybe I could do the photography and gather the details, we could co-author it... I've been trying to meet up with Joe for about 2 years now. :) He may be out to sea right now, seems to me he just signed off not too long ago... john At 11:12 PM 4/1/00 EST, you wrote: >As posted earlier, I'm looking for a J-4000 to profile for JP Magazine. In >looking over the rigs on the IFSJA page at Off Road.com, I saw that Joe >Schaefer has a great looking J-4000. In writing to him at joes-at-olympus.net, >my e-mail to him bounced back as undeliverable. > >Does anyone on the lists know Joe and have his current e-mail address so I >can contact him directly? > >Thanks, > >Richard Truesdell >Contributing Editor, JP Magazine >1964 Jeep Wagoneer >1969 Jeep Super Wagoneer > - ----------------------------------------------------- john-at-wagoneers.com http://www.wagoneers.com ...don't leave life without Jesus, please! Snohomish, WA - where Jeeps don't rust, they mold... - ----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 01 Apr 2000 20:32:05 -0800 From: john Subject: Re: fsj: Tomorrow (Sun Apr 2) At 08:11 PM 4/1/00 -0800, James Blair wrote: >A: I'll be driving Blackie. What parts are you missing? I'm sending a >pic to 1fsj and photopoint next. stock air filter housing primarily... also the wiring connections that control the manifold heater... looks like it goes to the coolant sensor... I don't have an intake manifold gasket but figured I'd just use permatex non-hardening form-a-gasket... or run up to Schucks or NAPA. I'll take some good photos of Blackie for you. :) I'm also missing some of the hardware to mount up throttle linkage and such... I figure I'll go over to olympic and buy a complete setup and just sell off whatever is left. The carb has most of the stuff and I'm confident it's a good one. The manifold might have almost everything... but I don't know what I don't have... Superdawg is a hack job by the ppo. Maybe when you're here tomorrow we can piece this puppy together. :) I suppose I could get an aftermarket air cleaner that might work at schucks in a pinch... Unless someone coming has a stock 258 air cleaner assy. :) john - ----------------------------------------------------- john-at-wagoneers.com http://www.wagoneers.com ...don't leave life without Jesus, please! Snohomish, WA - where Jeeps don't rust, they mold... - ----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2000 20:34:10 -0800 (PST) From: Carnuck-at-webtv.net (James Blair) Subject: fsj: FWD from the Oracle Humor List (with Jeep modifications) Jeep doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy jeeps like they buy computers, but imagine if they did.... - ---------------------------------------------- HelpLine: "Jeep HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "I got in my Jeep and closed the door and nothing happened!" HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?" Customer: "What's an ignition?" HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine." Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my Jeep?" - --------------------------- HelpLine: "Jeep HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "My Jeep ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!" HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?" Customer: "Huh? How do I know?" HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?" Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?" HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you." Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this Jeep! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a Jeep that comes with everything built in!" - --------------------------- HelpLine: "Jeep HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "Your trucks suck!" HelpLine: "What's wrong?" Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!" HelpLine: "What were you doing?" Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now! HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?" Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!" - --------------------------- HelpLine: "Jeep HelpLine, how can I help you?" Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first Jeep, and I chose your Jeep because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks." HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our Jeep. How can I help you?" Customer: "How do I work it?" HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" Customer: "Do I know how to what?" HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?" Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my Jeep!" Submitted by: Whattadeal -at- aol.com (and modified by yours truly) =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0= =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0\\|// =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0= =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0(o o) =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST - ------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo--------------------- Anyone interested in this ADULT JOKE mailing list (some are Xrated) send an email to ralphaus-at-teleport.com ------------------------------ End of fsj-digest V1 #801 *************************